


The Blank Verse Terror

by reese_carlisle



Category: Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Blank Verse, Gen, Parody, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-08
Updated: 2007-07-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22275097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reese_carlisle/pseuds/reese_carlisle
Summary: The Doctor and three companions visit what looks a lot like a quarry and confront the Master.  But this time in meter!





	The Blank Verse Terror

NYSSA, TEGAN and ADRIC stand around the TARDIS console. THE DOCTOR enters.

THE DOCTOR:  
Good morning, fellow trav'lers, may I say  
it's splendid seeing each of you. Today  
we find ourselves in nineteen ninety six,  
or rather would if just this once we'd made  
it there.

ADRIC:  
The TARDIS works just fine for me.

NYSSA:  
Now, Adric, show the Doctor due respect;  
you know that he's five hundred years --

THE DOCTOR:  
Well, six.

NYSSA:  
Six hundred years older than you, and plus  
a Time Lord.

ADRIC:  
But I've got this golden star.

TEGAN:  
It's blue, you whiny git.

THE DOCTOR:  
Now don't you start.  
Let's find out where we are today, and when,  
and with less bickering, this time, I trust.  
It's warm, like Halifraxtipracius.

ADRIC:  
I don't believe that planet e'en exists.  
You said that just to make the blank verse work.

THE DOCTOR:  
Well, never mind that now. Let's go outside.

The TARDIS crew go outside. It looks amazingly like a quarry.

TEGAN:  
We're in another bloody' quarry.

THE DOCTOR:  
No,  
We're on another planet. Come along.  
I'm fairly sure it's this way we should go.

THE DOCTOR starts off in the opposite direction from the one he pointed.

THE DOCTOR:  
I meant this way.

NYSSA:  
We all believe you did.

TEGAN:  
Oh, Nyssa, you've got something on your nose.

The TARDIS crew leave the stage, only to walk back on from the other side. THE MASTER enters opposite.

THE MASTER:  
And so, you've fallen for my trap! I knew you would! (laughs)

ADRIC:  
What is he on about?

THE MASTER:  
You'll never know! (laughs)

NYSSA:  
You killed my father! Now prepare to die! (fails to have a sword)

THE MASTER:  
(laughs)

THE DOCTOR:  
Stop laughing; it's annoying. What's your scheme?

THE MASTER:  
I'll tell you all, but first, another laugh. (laughs)  
I've lured you here to this backwater world  
of Halifraxtipracius.

THE DOCTOR:  
Aha!

ADRIC:  
There'll be no living with him now, you know.

THE MASTER:  
I'm talking here. My evil scheme is this:  
I'll take your TARDIS parts to fix my own,  
then strand you in this quarry with your friends.

TEGAN:  
It is a quarry!

THE MASTER:  
Silence! Let me see,  
the TARDIS, stranded, quarry, here we go,  
then next I'll fly my way through history,  
and cause the Magna Carta ne'er to be.  
Oh, first, I'll dress up like a green fat man  
and steal some airplanes. Then I'll nick King John.  
Or better yet, I'll make a stop or two  
and find a robot that can change its shape  
and let it be King John instead of me.  
I've really got you this time, Doctor!

THE DOCTOR:  
But,  
I think those are the dumbest plans that I  
have ever heard, even for you.

ADRIC:  
Yes.

NYSSA:  
Yes.

TEGAN:  
I think your goatee's pasted on too tight.

MASTER:  
Shut up! I know, it's no mind robber, or  
daemon plot, but I've been really busy since  
I stole this body.

NYSSA:  
Now prepare to die!

MASTER:  
Stop saying that!

DOCTOR:  
Now listen, all of you,  
You know that there are forms to be observed.  
The Master has to strand us here, but I  
will have a spare of whatever he takes.  
He'll get away from us today, of course.  
We'll see him by and by.

TEGAN:  
All green and fat.

THE DOCTOR: (to himself)  
I really need to get to Heathrow ere too long  
so I can leave her on the tarmac. First,  
I hope that Adric finds a way to die.  
A prehistoric spaceship crash should do.


End file.
